realitymunches

21 December 2011

Survivor: South Pacific (Season Finale)

Link to the finale.

The final redemption duel was a showdown between Ozzy and Brandon. The duel is just about holding onto a pole, and whoever stays on it longer wins.

OZZY WINS THE FINAL DUEL. Christine won the first five duels and Ozzy won the last six.

Brandon goes out thinking he won because he had a one-on-one chat with God on the island. Again, I don't like Survivor castaways who think that way, because the truth is that he lost. And now Ozzy rejoins the tribe to play for real.

Coach claims he wants to take Ozzy to the end and will try his hardest to protect him. Ozzy wants to take Coach to the end, mostly because Ozzy knows he'll beat anyone at the end. For that same reason, Ozzy is very suspicious of Coach's honesty about wanting to keep him.

The First Immunity Challenge: They must balance a board with one arm while building a huge house of cards with the other.

OZZY WINS IMMUNITY. He may not be able to outwit them, but he sure can outplay them.

The First Tribal Council: Ozzy clearly loves his position. Rick becomes the target because Coach delivers the most ridiculous theory ever that Rick is the biggest threat to win the game. I don't get how that is possible. I don't think the members of the jury even know who Rick is. Meanwhile, Ozzy correctly points out that Sophie is the sleeper threat, and she really showed her true colors during this latest challenge.

Sophie's argument is that she's the best competitor while Ricks argument is that he's worthless. Doesn't surprise anyone that Rick was voted out. Rick also makes it clear he has no respect for Coach and won't vote for him to win since he now thinks the honesty and integrity stuff is nonsense.

The Final Immunity Challenge: Ozzy's only strategy is to win the last challenge to make the finale. He admits he has no back-up plans. The last challenge is a giant obstacle course where they need to grab five puzzle bags and then put it together. Ozzy takes an early lead and never gives it up during the first part. But when it comes to the puzzles, Sophie steps it up.

SOPHIE WINS IMMUNITY.

She beat three athletic guys and this marks her third individual immunity win. At this point, the million dollar prize is pretty much hers.

The Final Tribal Council: Well, Ozzy's plan didn't work out, and since his only real plan was winning immunity, he's screwed and he knows it. Coach even dubs Sophie the new Dragon Slayer, since Ozzy was the dragon.

OZZY IS VOTED OUT.

Albert has no chance of winning, so it's just between Coach and Sophie, and they agree with me, except Albert who is delusional because he thinks he truly deserves to win.

The Jury

Albert's Opening Statement: He plays up the "social experiment" angle and panders to Brandon by talking about how a higher power brought them all together on the island.

Sophie's Opening Statement: She explains that she outplayed in challenges and outwitted with her alliance and social game. Now that's a speech to win Survivor.

Coach's Opening Statement: He talks about compassion and respect and plays up the concept of redemption and family.

Ozzy's Question: He calls Sophie a privileged, pretentious brat and Albert a useless and lucky guy. He essentially says Coach deserves to win just because they're both returning players. Coach then explains that he's sad he had to break his word at times.

Jim's Question: He wants to know why Coach and Sophie don't deserve to win, and Albert loses him immediately by throwing Jim a suck-up compliment. Albert's only argument is that he made stronger bonds to the jury.

Dawn's Question: She wants to know why Sophie chose to be in her alliance, and she explains that she chose to work with Coach because he's like a young girl who cares less about the game and more about integrity.

Rick's Question: He gets Coach to apologize for stabbing him in the back. He also points out that Albert's using God to get Brandon's immunity necklace was B.S.

Brandon's Question: Like Rick, he wants to know why Coach voted against him even though he swore on God that he wouldn't. Then he demands a "Yes or No" answer from Albert about whether he knew Brandon was going home. Albert obfuscates a lot until weakly saying "No."

Whitney's Question: Albert is sleazy, Coach used Christianity to instill fear and Sophie was condescending. Sophie explains that her stand-offishness is just how she is.

Edna's Question: She points out that using religion to manipulate and dupe people is as old as time, so no one should be surprised. Love her to bits.

Keith's Question: He wants to know if Coach had any intention of using his immunity idol. Sophie uses the opportunity to reveal the truth about how they staged the discovery of the idol, totally throwing Coach under the bus to Brandon.

Cochran's Question: He's the typical fanboy for Coach, except for the fact that all his talk of "honor" is just a big, fat lie. Coach tries to escape doing bad things all season under the guise of honor by apologizing. He pretty much says he's no good at this game.

Final Verdict:

Sophie 5 [Jim, Rick, Dawn, Keith, Whitney] - Coach 4 [Ozzy, Cochran, Brandon and Edna] - Albert 0

SOPHIE CLARKE WINS!

She totally deserves it. She flew under the radar but still played hard, won more individual immunity challenges than anyone and did a great job.

Labels: Survivor

# posted by Louis : 6:01 PM